I meant "daily" in a loose sense

Did you like how I said I was going to blog daily and then didn't do one the next day?

I had a good excuse. I was busy, and I don't have a bike desk and I spent almost all evening biking.  Legs are killing me today and it feels nice.  Also nice is that I've been having a nice little party in my head here in the office today.  Good music and a good mood just really get me all happy and more importantly moving!

Today has overall been really good. I had a talk with a friend this morning about the nature of weight loss, and girls and boys, and not wanting to be in a bathing suit in front of your favorite rock star.  We discovered that both of us were trying out meal replacement shakes because we weren't making the best morning choices.  She was just starting out, meanwhile I've spent a little bit of time trying to figure out what works for me, taste wise, vitamin wise etc.  I've discovered that ones intended for weight loss are...generally not for me.  If anyone else can choke down a SlimFast more power to you but EW.  I've even tried doing my own smoothies but when I'm rushed in the morning, I've found that my go to has to be extra easy and can't involve washing the blender.

What else, I'm down another half pound, this means about two pounds toward my goal of 20.  I'm really trying to get in a healthy eating and exercise routine.  Shake for breakfast, salad/veggies for lunch, light-ish dinner.  And Special K bars as snacks, because those things are made of pure deliciousness.

None of that is very exciting.  But that's my day :) hope you are all having great days!

Stepping it Up

Good afternoon!

Expectations have been on my mind today.  I keep thinking about how much I expect for my efforts in weight loss and in life.  I mean we all want to be treated perfectly.  We want something that fits into the parts of our lives that we love but that changes all the parts that we don't like.  When you're talking about a relationship how many of us know a girl who wants a perfect prince charming to sweep her off her feet and treat her like a princess?  How many of us ourselves want to lose weight by having a magical fix, a workout that only takes us 5 minutes a day?  But just pining away for perfect things only leads to sadness.

I try to view life from a place of bettering myself.  That isn't something I've always done and I don't like the person I was before I did it.  I used to be that person that expected everyone to be what I needed right then.  But now I feel like I have to stop and think, what do THEY need ME to be?  How dare I take from someone and not give back.  Do I want to be treated like a princess? Then I better be ready to make someone feel like a prince.  Do I want my weight to fall off? Then I'd better treat my body how it needs to be treated and not give in to that caramel mocha craving.

In my sleepy state this morning I tweeted "How do people expect perfection when they're not perfect? Lower your expectations to your level, or work on bettering yourself!"  What I really meant was...ever since I started bettering myself and being worthy of the things/people I want in my life, I feel great and I want other people to know that too.
Anyway why do I keep thinking about this? I think it's because I've been really relaxed about easing into working out and eating better.  I found myself thinking that I remember back when I was losing over a pound a week, over two pounds.  I was thinking about the effort I made then.  And I certainly didn't go out for Swedish pancakes with lingonberry butter on Sunday mornings.  I didn't rationalize eating an extra serving of rice here and there.  So it's time for me to either lower my expectations or step it up in my actions.

I choose stepping up my actions.  And I'm not going to hope I lose 20 pounds by May for my trip.  (Side note that it doesn't make sense anymore anyway, because my trip was pushed back to June).  I *am* going to lose 20 pounds by this trip, that's a little over a pound a week but I know I can do it because I'm going to put my mind to it.  And who knows maybe I'll lose more, or maybe I'll just work up how long I can jog without feeling like my lungs are exploding.  But it's time for me to step it up.

And write here every day. I get pumped up when I write my blog.  It needs to be more of a priority!

Another pound gone!

Hi!
I know I've been sporadic here and I'm sorry.  I need to figure out how to type up my blog posts while I'm on the bike!  Actually I know how, my friend has this bike desk combination thing that is CRAZY, but I think it would be perfect.  I'm trying to spend my evening down time on the bike.  I don't know if I can really count it as working out because I'm not exerting myself too much, but I'm just doing it to keep moving.  I like how it's worked out so far because I'm down another pound.  Gotta keep it up.  I'm super motivated too, because I've been obsessive about planning my trip to England and Scotland (which has been pushed back to June).

So my lunchtimes have been filled with research on going to the places I'd most like to see and meeting up with friends.  I'll have every moment of the trip planned out months in advance (silly) but I can't help it, when I get excited about something I really go crazy!

There isn't much else going on with me.  I somehow avoided getting sick and am feeling great now, oh and last week when there was ice cream I successfully avoided it, which I am pretty darn proud of!!

Hope you all are doing well, I'll be trying to catch up with all of you today :D

Ice Cream

You guys, there is free ice cream in my office. Right now. Must...avoid....

Sicky sick

I'm home sick from work today, I think I might have caught a nasty cold that my boss had last week. So I'm resting and doing everything I can short of injecting Zicam directly into my bloodstream.  I don't want to get sick, too many exciting things happening.

Yesterday I had some good down time with a friend of mine and I remembered that some days that's exactly what I need.  I get caught up in the little nuances of online life, and I'm not saying I don't love it because I've made so many good friends that way (hey, I met that friend on the internet too!) but it's easy to get caught up in things people say or don't say, do or don't do or what their tone is.

In the end I let yesterday get to me too much.  I skipped lunch, came home and had like 6 Hershey hugs, then for my...lunch/dinner I had one of those fruit and cheese trays from Starbucks.  Not my healthiest day.  Today I'm not going to risk working out or burning too many calories but I'm sticking to some soup (chicken broth loaded with veggies) and lots of water.

Usually when I'm sick I take every opportunity to eat ice cream and be lazy.  I drink loads of juice and I say to myself I deserve it, I'm not feeling well.  Very glad to feel differently today.

also in bonus news, I have mentioned here before and if you have followed or friended me on any social media you know I...love Weezer.  And it turns out they're doing a second Weezer cruise!  Oh my gosh so much to save up for, between my summer UK trip and hopefully next January or so I'll be on a boat with my favorite band sailing to the Bahamas.  Life is good, now let's hope I can keep keeping the little annoyances out of my head and the healthy attitude in!!

Weekend Productivity

I'm going to get to a happier post but I wanted to share my obnoxious morning with you guys.  I woke up in just a great mood, super early just hanging out in bed with my cat (yeah, I'm exciting!).  And there are just some days that old issues come up and one did today, an ongoing thing with someone who is/was my friend, someone who doesn't like me for reasons they're not sharing, just one of those things I have to learn to live with and let go of.  And it's hard to live with and let go of things like that, especially when that person is likely to never be gone from your life, but it's a process and I'm dealing as best I can.  Then one of my best friends got some pretty great news and we celebrated and oh my gosh before 9am I had cried from frustration and cried from happiness.  I am feeling so extra crazy today.

But that's today.  I wanted to tell you guys about the weekend I had. In three days, I only left home to go grocery shopping - but I'm ok with that because I was moving all weekend.  I felt and feel great about it.  I exercised, and cleaned like never before.  Windows are sparkling, everything is a little whiter, and I just feel good.  All of my mess and clutter has congregated in my dining room, in boxes that are neatly stacked, waiting for me to just go through one by one.

I seriously feel good about myself.  I know some of you probably keep your houses spotless, but that is so rough for me.  I've started making a to do list every day, and it has been awesome to check everything off and see it come together.

What's the best part?  Well I don't do weekly weigh ins, or let's say I haven't been sharing my weekly weigh ins but since January 1 I have lost 3.4 pounds.  I'm on my way.  Despite my crazy morning setback I'm feeling really good.  I need to go catch up on all your blogs, but thanks for your support and thanks for being here for me when I'm up and down and awkward and happy and everything else :)

Awkwardsauce

I didn't work out yesterday - I swear I was in bed by 7pm, just in a bit of pain and found it hard to be moving.  Sometimes being a girl is not fun.

This is going to come out of nowhere for most of you, but I've been thinking a lot lately about my shyness.  I am extremely shy in most circumstances, I find it hard to open up to people in person.  No not that, I find it hard to make any kind of conversation or coherent sentences.  It's been difficult for me as long as I can remember, but it's something I can mostly deal with.  A lot of people mistake my shyness for being stuck up or standoffish, and I guess I've been feeling that a little extra lately.

It's just felt like one situation after another where I haven't been physically able to say or do the right thing.  For the most part as an adult I realize that it is not the responsibility of outgoing people to make me feel comfortable.  It's my responsibility.  And I know that I miss out on things because I'm too quiet to speak up, it's just part of life.  On the other hand, there are times that I really feel singled out.  Sometimes at work I feel like I'm the only introvert in an office full of really fun enthusiastic people.  For most people it would be a dream, for me it seems to amplify my awkwardness.  And I love my job for the most part but when I go through these awkward phases - GAH! It's a lot to deal with.

Anyway, I think as part of my goal to be happier I need to take my crippling shyness up a few levels to a mildly introverted status.  Not sure how, I just know I have to get there.  And now it's out there on the internet so I have to do it ;)

Back to my fitness for a second, I'm not going to work out today either. Awful!  Especially since I'll be out to dinner and probably drinking wine and eating things that aren't on anyone's healthy list.  But Friday and the weekend - the wonderful three day weekend - are all about fitness and house cleaning.  Do any of you have any fun plans for the long weekend?

Mini Goal

I am trying a new routine this week of working out at night.  I'll eat dinner somewhat early, do whatever chores or whatnot that I need for the night, get on my bike for a 20-40 minutes and then take a shower and be lazy.

It's working pretty nicely.  This morning I woke up a little sore in the legs but nothing I can't handle.  It's feeling nice so far.

I like to set mini weight goals for myself, it's just easier than looking at the big picture of having to lose as much weight as I'd really like to and I have one now.  I want to lose 20 pounds. By May.  That's a pretty big goal, but it would be nice.  I'm hopefully planning a trip to England in May (and Scotland if I can pull it off), to see my wonderful friends there, some of them to meet in person for the first time!  It would be really great to take my first long flight like that with a bit of an accomplished feeling anyway.

I don't have much else.  I've just been on the lookout for that darned Ikea kitchen island and healthy crock pot recipes.  I hope you are all having good weeks!