Thursday, October 7, 2010

Questions and Refocusing

My goodness, yesterday was bad, today is bad, but even fully aware of what I'm doing, I don't understand why in the moment I'm making awful food choices.

Here is how I did yesterday:
Burned 2089 calories
Consumed 1537 calories
Deficit of 552 calories

I had a cupcake for lunch today.  Instead of my veggies.  Actually between that and my coffee, of which I only drank half, that's all I've eaten.  I had high hopes, grabbed a peach for breakfast and an orange for a snack, and just didn't eat either.  I feel gross.  I was even going to work out during lunch until I realized that I need to run a couple of errands before home.  I'm so utterly disappointed in myself right now.  I don't know how to pick back up...but I know I have to, because I need to go home, get in a REALLY good workout, and make a healthy dinner (one of my errands is to the grocery store, because I really don't have much going on at home in the way of good food!).

Meanwhile, I am uninspired to write my own stuff today, as it would all be super depressing and self pitying and self being-annoyed-with-ing.  Going through my blogs I found this questionnaire by Christina at Never the Skinny Girl and the more I thought about it the more I wanted to hear YOUR answers too and this could really help me to refocus, so here goes…

1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?
Heh…my highest weight was, I believe 247 pounds. My weight right now is hovering right around 186, and my goal weight for now is 150. Not true, it’s actually 148 because at 149.something I become not overweight anymore!

2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?
I don’t know that I have a #1. My most intense reason is that I fear that I’m going to die or become very sick from something made worse or caused by obesity. But my everyday reason as I go through life is that I want to feel healthy and happy about the way I look, I want my activity level to be high and I want to have a healthy (and cute) pregnancy when the time comes!

3. Have you always been overweight?
My whole…adult life I have. And I’ve been obese for about half of that.

4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
Everyone who reads this. People who say to me that I haven’t blogged in awhile, people who let me know that they follow my journey or see me as inspiring. My friends who hit roadblocks in their lives but keep moving forward keep me going, and all the blogs I read too where people go through things really similar to what I’m going through.

5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?
Cheaper clothes, more selection. Nah, I mean that will be a fabulous plus but in reality I’m looking forward to being in shape. Both in a fitness sense and then actually being shaped like a normal-weight person instead of a pot bellied one!

6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?
I have the most support of anyone I’ve ever met. I’m surrounded not only by family and friends who are unbelieveably encouraging, but my workplace has been especially great, the company is awesome but even more so are my fabulous coworkers who (normally, not today lol) walk with me at lunch and keep me on track!

7. What is your favorite exercise?
Well…I do love walking. But I love dancing, I mean like flailing dancing while I’m cleaning or doing stuff around the house. You can’t possibly be in a good mood or feel like you’re working at burning calories when you’re being that silly.

8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
I’ve learned that it’s not simple. It’s just not. There is no one-diet-fits-all, no plan that works for everyone and we are all on the journey together but on slightly different paths as we find what actually makes us lose weight.

9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?
Indulging the little voice that says I want this I want that. I used to buy and eat everything I ever wanted. Now, I think things through and try to make healthier choices. But I do miss looking at the highest calorie item on a menu and just thinking “ehhh why not?”  Although I certainly did indulge that little voice when it wanted a cupcake.

10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
Hahaha, I’m about 30 pounds down since I started this blog, and…I don’t have a good strategy yet! It’s still being formulated.

All right your turn. I would love to hear your answers to some/all of the questions!! If you post it in your own blog make sure to put the link in a comment and link back to Never the Skinny Girl.

I hope everyone is having a more on track day than me!  I'll get there, I WILL get there, I'm just going in a bit of a roundabout way lately!


Amelia said...

I've got a few minutes while im cooking supper so i will make this short.

Answers to questions #:

2)To be proud of the way I look.

3)most of my adult life

4)Even though i may give up for a while, i know how great I'll feel once i get back on track.

5)Just feeling great in my clothes, not being self conscious.

6) family, friends and a lot of online support

7)Definitely lifting heavy weights. I feel so strong when im done.

8)To go easy on myself when im not perfect. Im not a machine.

9)I've given up that eating free feeling. For example, i use to eat whatever i wanted and I didn't care..not one bit. Now if i eat anything that i know isn't good for me i feel so guilty.

10)I count calories, log my food at home in a journal, workout 6days a week.

ok, gotta go flip my fries =)

KellyNY said...

Seriously, why do we self sabotage? It doesn't make any sense, does it? I'm going to check out Christina's blog, sounds interesting. Chin up! Success is yours if you want it!

WockyWookie said...

I agree with KellyNY! Why is it so easy to sabotage ourselves when we know better?? But we're only human, and I heard something once that really stuck with me: There is no past, and there is no future; there is only today.'
The past does not exist right now (but it was, and is not to be forgotten), and no one can know what tomorrow will bring (although we can dream). I love the idea of being in the moment, and being conscious of the fact that the NOW matters!

You had a cupcake...and I had two flour tortillas esta manana! And I feel horribly guilty...disappointing myself was worse than anything. But I know that I'll remember how Icky I felt and not do it again! :)

Love the blog, happy posting!
( )

Anonymous said...

Oh hon, I am SO with you. I've been horrible about self-sabotaging this past week too, but the one cupcake you ate is SO much better than what I did to myself. Hang in there okay? We'll get there. :)

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