Thursday, February 17, 2011

Keep On, Keep On, Keep On, Yeah

I realized today how awesome I am.  I know you all already know, because I remind you on a very regular basis lest you forget that I am the awesomest, but today it came to me epiphany-style and it was great.

I had a pretty bad panic attack this morning.  I was just feeling so overwhelmed with things that were awesome, awful, stressful, and scary (in the sense that the unknown is scary).  I don't even want to get into it though because those thoughts are gone and I don't miss them.

I was thinking this morning, as I have been for several days now, that I have really changed as a person since I started this blog, since I lost the weight, since I wanted to be healthier.  I am so proud of myself, and so grateful for all of your support.

So now that I've kicked my most recent goal's ass, am not obese, and am a runner, what is my next goal?  Well friends I'll tell you.  I want to be not overweight.  Yep, another 30 pounds need to go out the freaking door.  And I figure even though not being overweight would be 149 for me, I'm going for 147.5.  Why?  Long time readers might know that that will be a HUGE MILESTONE of 100 pounds lost since my heaviest weight.  And I'm gonna get there.

I set a tentative goal date of July 23.  My 6th wedding anniversary.  We'll see how I'm doing a month or two in and if I need to change anything up, but I think I can accomplish this NO PROBLEM.  Especially with my half marathon training, which is on hold during this gross weather.  I am so excited.

I feel like the end is in sight.  I know it's not really, I know I have a lifetime of watching what I eat, of maintaining and staying fit.  But when I'm on, I am ON and I know I can eat well, exercise and get my weight down even more.

I also feel this insane hope about my OCD.  I know I've talked about it so much lately, and I know if you don't suffer from it it's really difficult to understand, but know that I'm sick of talking about it/thinking about it/living with it/being obsessed with...being obsessed.  However, I have been...accepted to a program that I think is REALLY going to help me out.  I don't want to talk about it much until I've gone through it (it will be over mid-March)...no sense in painting a picture of something I haven't seen yet.  But I am hopeful, and happy, and I can't wait to move past this most recent obsessive crazy-time.

The feeling of the day is awesome hope for the future.  What's making you excited about your own future today??  Let's keep all this happiness going...

11 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Two things that might excite me-

*On Tuesday only doing my own job as my coworker is in theory coming back from disability.

*I was just offered a big fat raise for kicking ass so much the last 4 months.

Also, don't knock running in the rain unless it is a torrential crapfest.

Cladeedah said...

You know what's making me excited for the future -- its starts with "W" and ends in "eezer in Atlantic City." ;)

KyokoCake said...

GOOD on the raise, and they should make that ret-ro-ac-tive.

I've never run in the rain before but not a thing in this world could have me risk being sick on Saturday!!!

KyokoCake said...

ps in case it wasn't clear I am SO EXCITED about your job being normal again and higher paying :) that's so awesome!!!

KyokoCake said...

Yay!!! lol I just like squealed in excitement. At my desk. Again. Everyone at work thinks I'm crazy...but I guess, I am ok with being crazy for Weezer!!

Tammy said...

OMG, you are so right. You are AWESOME! I love your excitement and enthusiasm. You can reach that goal by your anniversary and you will be even more so awesome, can you stand it?

Right now, I am excited about starting fresh tomorrow. I've been kind of half-arse lately and I really want to step it up. I want to feel some of these healthy vibes you've been talking about. I'm going to soon.

KyokoCake said...

@Tammy - no, in fact I won't be able to stand it!! I can't wait for you to feel healthier and enthusiastic and wonderful :) you deserve it. We all have our times of not trying to hard (says the girl who just ate a bowl of creamy delicious butternut squash soup) but it makes the times that we're good EVEN sweeter!

Natalia said...

I'm excited for the future because we may be getting a house soon. I hope, I hope! Which means a dog, and an herb garden, and a craft room!!!

I'm also excited because I've been living a lifestyle since August and I'm down 23 pounds AND I am wearing a pair of jeans that I haven't been in for over 2 years! What does that mean for the future? It means living a much more active lifestyle, camping, hiking, exploring!! :)

Hope that you have a GREAT day!!! :)

KyokoCake said...

@Natalia your comment totally made my morning. 23 pounds, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Isn't it just the best how open the future is to doing ANYthing? Wonderful!!! :)

New Outlook Fitness said...

YOU ARE AWESOME and I AM AWESOME. WE ALL ARE AWESOME. My day was made so great by seeing the achievement of one of my clients!

Admin. said...

Enjoying your blog :). Well done.

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