Thursday, February 17, 2011

Keep On, Keep On, Keep On, Yeah

I realized today how awesome I am.  I know you all already know, because I remind you on a very regular basis lest you forget that I am the awesomest, but today it came to me epiphany-style and it was great.

I had a pretty bad panic attack this morning.  I was just feeling so overwhelmed with things that were awesome, awful, stressful, and scary (in the sense that the unknown is scary).  I don't even want to get into it though because those thoughts are gone and I don't miss them.

I was thinking this morning, as I have been for several days now, that I have really changed as a person since I started this blog, since I lost the weight, since I wanted to be healthier.  I am so proud of myself, and so grateful for all of your support.

So now that I've kicked my most recent goal's ass, am not obese, and am a runner, what is my next goal?  Well friends I'll tell you.  I want to be not overweight.  Yep, another 30 pounds need to go out the freaking door.  And I figure even though not being overweight would be 149 for me, I'm going for 147.5.  Why?  Long time readers might know that that will be a HUGE MILESTONE of 100 pounds lost since my heaviest weight.  And I'm gonna get there.

I set a tentative goal date of July 23.  My 6th wedding anniversary.  We'll see how I'm doing a month or two in and if I need to change anything up, but I think I can accomplish this NO PROBLEM.  Especially with my half marathon training, which is on hold during this gross weather.  I am so excited.

I feel like the end is in sight.  I know it's not really, I know I have a lifetime of watching what I eat, of maintaining and staying fit.  But when I'm on, I am ON and I know I can eat well, exercise and get my weight down even more.

I also feel this insane hope about my OCD.  I know I've talked about it so much lately, and I know if you don't suffer from it it's really difficult to understand, but know that I'm sick of talking about it/thinking about it/living with it/being obsessed with...being obsessed.  However, I have been...accepted to a program that I think is REALLY going to help me out.  I don't want to talk about it much until I've gone through it (it will be over mid-March) sense in painting a picture of something I haven't seen yet.  But I am hopeful, and happy, and I can't wait to move past this most recent obsessive crazy-time.

The feeling of the day is awesome hope for the future.  What's making you excited about your own future today??  Let's keep all this happiness going...


Elizabeth said...

Two things that might excite me-

*On Tuesday only doing my own job as my coworker is in theory coming back from disability.

*I was just offered a big fat raise for kicking ass so much the last 4 months.

Also, don't knock running in the rain unless it is a torrential crapfest.

Cladeedah said...

You know what's making me excited for the future -- its starts with "W" and ends in "eezer in Atlantic City." ;)

KyokoCake said...

GOOD on the raise, and they should make that ret-ro-ac-tive.

I've never run in the rain before but not a thing in this world could have me risk being sick on Saturday!!!

KyokoCake said...

ps in case it wasn't clear I am SO EXCITED about your job being normal again and higher paying :) that's so awesome!!!

KyokoCake said...

Yay!!! lol I just like squealed in excitement. At my desk. Again. Everyone at work thinks I'm crazy...but I guess, I am ok with being crazy for Weezer!!

Tammy said...

OMG, you are so right. You are AWESOME! I love your excitement and enthusiasm. You can reach that goal by your anniversary and you will be even more so awesome, can you stand it?

Right now, I am excited about starting fresh tomorrow. I've been kind of half-arse lately and I really want to step it up. I want to feel some of these healthy vibes you've been talking about. I'm going to soon.

KyokoCake said...

@Tammy - no, in fact I won't be able to stand it!! I can't wait for you to feel healthier and enthusiastic and wonderful :) you deserve it. We all have our times of not trying to hard (says the girl who just ate a bowl of creamy delicious butternut squash soup) but it makes the times that we're good EVEN sweeter!

Natalia said...

I'm excited for the future because we may be getting a house soon. I hope, I hope! Which means a dog, and an herb garden, and a craft room!!!

I'm also excited because I've been living a lifestyle since August and I'm down 23 pounds AND I am wearing a pair of jeans that I haven't been in for over 2 years! What does that mean for the future? It means living a much more active lifestyle, camping, hiking, exploring!! :)

Hope that you have a GREAT day!!! :)

KyokoCake said...

@Natalia your comment totally made my morning. 23 pounds, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Isn't it just the best how open the future is to doing ANYthing? Wonderful!!! :)

New Outlook Fitness said...

YOU ARE AWESOME and I AM AWESOME. WE ALL ARE AWESOME. My day was made so great by seeing the achievement of one of my clients!

Admin. said...

Enjoying your blog :). Well done.

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