Keep On, Keep On, Keep On, Yeah

I realized today how awesome I am.  I know you all already know, because I remind you on a very regular basis lest you forget that I am the awesomest, but today it came to me epiphany-style and it was great.

I had a pretty bad panic attack this morning.  I was just feeling so overwhelmed with things that were awesome, awful, stressful, and scary (in the sense that the unknown is scary).  I don't even want to get into it though because those thoughts are gone and I don't miss them.

I was thinking this morning, as I have been for several days now, that I have really changed as a person since I started this blog, since I lost the weight, since I wanted to be healthier.  I am so proud of myself, and so grateful for all of your support.

So now that I've kicked my most recent goal's ass, am not obese, and am a runner, what is my next goal?  Well friends I'll tell you.  I want to be not overweight.  Yep, another 30 pounds need to go out the freaking door.  And I figure even though not being overweight would be 149 for me, I'm going for 147.5.  Why?  Long time readers might know that that will be a HUGE MILESTONE of 100 pounds lost since my heaviest weight.  And I'm gonna get there.

I set a tentative goal date of July 23.  My 6th wedding anniversary.  We'll see how I'm doing a month or two in and if I need to change anything up, but I think I can accomplish this NO PROBLEM.  Especially with my half marathon training, which is on hold during this gross weather.  I am so excited.

I feel like the end is in sight.  I know it's not really, I know I have a lifetime of watching what I eat, of maintaining and staying fit.  But when I'm on, I am ON and I know I can eat well, exercise and get my weight down even more.

I also feel this insane hope about my OCD.  I know I've talked about it so much lately, and I know if you don't suffer from it it's really difficult to understand, but know that I'm sick of talking about it/thinking about it/living with it/being obsessed with...being obsessed.  However, I have been...accepted to a program that I think is REALLY going to help me out.  I don't want to talk about it much until I've gone through it (it will be over mid-March)...no sense in painting a picture of something I haven't seen yet.  But I am hopeful, and happy, and I can't wait to move past this most recent obsessive crazy-time.

The feeling of the day is awesome hope for the future.  What's making you excited about your own future today??  Let's keep all this happiness going...