Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year, New Resolutions...

Hi.  Every time I come back here I feel a bit...shamefaced.  I had this whole plan to start really blogging again once the new year started, once the craziness of the holidays and family time had died down.  I was a bit thrown this week, and it hasn't worked out how I wanted it to.  Nothing this past week has gone the way I wanted it to.

Still, it's the new year.  I made it!  There is so much I wanted to tell all of you, but instead of dwelling on the serious and sad things that have been happening I wanted to tell you about my resolutions.  To understand how important they are you should understand how important the new year is to me.  I get out an entire year's worth of superstitious nonsense all in two days - December 31 and January 1.  I am very much helped along by some wonderful Japanese traditions of cooking and feasting and family.

The new year is a time for new beginnings, and it's so important.  I know a lot of people out there will say that if something is important you can start at any time, but I think that a lot of us do a LOT better with that extra nudge.  I needed that nudge.  I need to come back to you is harming me to be away from this world and my healthy lifestyle.

The new year is a time to be with people you care about and to set the standard for your year ahead.  I rang in 2011 for the first time in many many years with just myself and Husbandcake.  It was nice, relaxed...I missed hosting our annual Pajama New Year party, but I loved every moment of the two of us.  I also really love spending New Years Day with my family, and although our normal routine was interrupted (a whole other post) I was happy to have the day with the awesome people in my family.

The new year is an excuse to dream about who you want to be and what you want your life to be.  I've looked ahead and had huge dreams.  My resolutions are always so important to me.  They're well thought out, even when they're silly and I've never broken one.  But this year one wasn't enough for me.  So here new year's resolutions:

1. Care more - I lost someone last week who made me feel cared for.  I have realized throughout the week that I have family who cares more than they show (we are not big emotional gesture people), and friends that care more than I could imagine.  I want to live up to the amazing standard these people have set for me.  Mushy, yes...but true.

2. Be healthy - I've never resolved to lose weight.  And I won't now.  But I want to commit myself to being healthy, eating healthy foods, having a healthy lifestyle.  I want to run the Disneyland half marathon in September, for which I will begin training as soon as my foot stops feeling tender (got a tattoo today!) maybe in a couple of days.

3. Be me - I lost me.  I didn't hand-make any of my Christmas presents.  I haven't been cooking.  My house is a disaster.  And all these things made my loss feel so much worse...I felt like I lost my way, wasn't even looking for it and someone punched me in the face.  I want to feel like myself again.  Maybe I'm not the same person I was last January.  I'm smaller (yay!), I'm a little older, so who knows.  But I don't want to wallow back into nobodyness again.

4.  Blog - Maybe not every day.  Maybe I can't keep that up anymore.  But I'd like to give myself the chance every day, and not desert my blog just because I keep forgetting and get lazy.  It makes me happier, it makes me healthier, so I want to do it.

There we go.  I know it's a lot.  I know that this is a random and weird post.  I have a ton more to say, but today I am drained and can't say much more than that.  Just know that I will be back tomorrow :) and I missed you!!


Erin said...

You are loved!! :) Great post and fabulous resolutions. I look forward to supporting you along the way. Also, you're a total bad ass!

Christine said...

Kyoko -

I know what it's like to lose someone so close to you; someone who takes up such a space in your world that it's like losing three someones. And coming from a very similar non-emotional-gesture family (it's part of the culture, right up there with loving citrus-flavored anything, designer handbags and karaoke), I know how - different - that kind of grieving can be.
Grief is different for everyone - and so you do it how you do it, with no apologies to anyone.
That being said, I think you gain an appreciation for not only that person, but for everything else in your life, and you go on with those ideas/ideals in the forefront of your life - which it appears you are determined to do, in this year and the others that follow.

I wish you the best in 2011. Omedetoo gozaimasu!

Brandy said...

I'm very sorry to hear that you lost somebody close to you. :( I hope you're coping ok.

Great resolutions! Wish you the best of luck!

*Whitney* said...

Those sound like great resolutions! Here's a great 2011 for you!

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