Thursday, January 17, 2013

Awkwardsauce

I didn't work out yesterday - I swear I was in bed by 7pm, just in a bit of pain and found it hard to be moving.  Sometimes being a girl is not fun.

This is going to come out of nowhere for most of you, but I've been thinking a lot lately about my shyness.  I am extremely shy in most circumstances, I find it hard to open up to people in person.  No not that, I find it hard to make any kind of conversation or coherent sentences.  It's been difficult for me as long as I can remember, but it's something I can mostly deal with.  A lot of people mistake my shyness for being stuck up or standoffish, and I guess I've been feeling that a little extra lately.

It's just felt like one situation after another where I haven't been physically able to say or do the right thing.  For the most part as an adult I realize that it is not the responsibility of outgoing people to make me feel comfortable.  It's my responsibility.  And I know that I miss out on things because I'm too quiet to speak up, it's just part of life.  On the other hand, there are times that I really feel singled out.  Sometimes at work I feel like I'm the only introvert in an office full of really fun enthusiastic people.  For most people it would be a dream, for me it seems to amplify my awkwardness.  And I love my job for the most part but when I go through these awkward phases - GAH! It's a lot to deal with.

Anyway, I think as part of my goal to be happier I need to take my crippling shyness up a few levels to a mildly introverted status.  Not sure how, I just know I have to get there.  And now it's out there on the internet so I have to do it ;)

Back to my fitness for a second, I'm not going to work out today either. Awful!  Especially since I'll be out to dinner and probably drinking wine and eating things that aren't on anyone's healthy list.  But Friday and the weekend - the wonderful three day weekend - are all about fitness and house cleaning.  Do any of you have any fun plans for the long weekend?

6 comments:

Mrs Swan said...

Whhhhy not make smart choices while you are out tonight?? :)

KyokoCake said...

it's a fixed price menu...I won't have much choice :) however if I can I'll do my best to not make it TOO bad!

FitforFrance said...

I go through phases too where I'm really introverted. Exercising usually gets me out of the funk but sometimes it's nice to have some alone time. So instead of forcing myself to go out, I'll take it easy, and come back with a better mood for the next event. I've found that when I do go out and I'm not feeling it, I usually don't have the best of times. Anyways! Tomorrow's another day! hmm If you have a love of cake's- maybe volunteer at a culinary school as a way to meet more people and become more social? We have Central Market that asks for volunteers for their classes. You're not teaching, but interacting with the people taking the class.

Alissa (A Journey to Thin) said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I always feel awkward. I do my best to put myself out there but it is so hard. I'm sure some of my awkwardness is my own perception. Once I get to know people well, I'm definitively one of those fun enthusiastic people...it just takes me wAy too long to get there! If you find some help, let me know!

Mrs Swan said...

The more on plan and active I am the more I am able to get out of my comfort zone. I don't know if that little gem will help you but it is how I personally am. LOL

KyokoCake said...

Thanks all :)

Alissa - I'm sure mine is my own perception too, at least part of the time! And it does take me awhile but I'd like to think I'm worth it ;)

 
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