Friday, June 4, 2010

A Better Me

Yesterday was AWESOME!! I walked for about four miles with a good friend, and it was really nice to get exercise while mentally relaxing. It was also just nice to spend time with her - we got to know each other taking walks with our dogs and it was just really nice to get back to that in a way.

Here is how I did yesterday:
Burned 2860 calories!!
Consumed 1439 calories
Deficit of 1421 calories

I think it's time to give myself a little pat on the back, not just because of the longer walk yesterday but because it was easy. Only easy because it's my first week back on the weight loss wagon? Maybe, but it shows how great a day can be and it didn't feel like work or dieting!

Today is going to be different and much harder - I can tell already. I've had an extremely frustrating morning and I know there is a department not far from my own where they keep bite size candy bars and other goodies that sound delicious. And I can't shake the feeling that they just might help me feel better.

My goal for today is not to walk 2 miles, to get on the bike or anything else. My goal for today is to NOT EAT those candies. Also to not eat any of the donuts that my coworkers just left to pick up (apparently it's national donut day? When is national carrot stick day?). Actually I want to be one of those people that isn't going to think about the donuts wistfully until they are all gone and I feel a ton of relief!

Which brings me to my thought for the day. There is so much - weight related and not - that I want to change about myself. I think that the desire for self improvement is one of the most attractive and admirable qualities a person can have. It doesn't matter to me if the goal is to be healthier, more assertive, I just think that we should all be trying to be our best selves.

It got me to thinking about who my best self is. She is thin, and able to walk up 2 flights of stairs without getting out of breath. She genuinely prefers healthier food and doesn't obsess over eating sweets and carbs all the time. She is always put together, has her hair and makeup done, and her clothes are never wrinkled. She is unfailingly nice and you always want to be around her. She is smart, she doesn't gossip. She is not all that sarcastic. She genuinely wants to help people, and actually does help them instead of just thinking about what they should do to help themselves.

All that is kind of a tall order! It makes me feel all over the place and I want to refocus and have clear goals. And few enough that I can work on them without being all over the place. So here goes, my (fairly) short term aims to make myself a better me:
1. I want to lose at least one pound every week.
2. I want to try at least one healthy recipe a week to replace things like fried chicken wings and funfetti cake from my eating habits.
3. I want to wear eye makeup every time I leave the house on the weekends (yeah it's silly - but makeup really makes me feel better about the way I look and I'm sick of being lazy about it!)
4. I want to stop being FAKE.

That last one is going to be tough - but maybe even the most important. I always want to be nice to people but I have to find the difference between being fake and not. If all of your friends know that you're just as friendly to people you don't really like, how can they ever 100% trust that you like THEM? This is something that has been on my mind so much lately and I just know I am really guilty of doing it to the awesome people in my life who I adore. I can hide it with humor and sarcastic comments, but in the end the best thing for me to do is be a genuinely nice person, or back off from people I don't like.

Ok I have gotten a little away from talking about weight loss this morning but in reading all of the awesome blogs I have found I think it's always important to remember that we're all more than just weight loss or getting fit - we're whole people who want the best for ourselves and out of ourselves! I would just love it if you guys would share some of your non weight loss goals with me!!


Elizabeth said...

I think you can help people while being sarcastic. Well, I certainly hope so!

Mi meta es hablar mas bien porque voy a ir la viaje etse invierno. (I apologize to any Spanish speakers who read that). While driving home from the unfulfilling donut experience, which was actually made less suck as I stopped at a store and saw someone from last summer's TNT (I am seriously tangental!), I was saying random sentences in Spanish and I rolled my r's not once but twice. I couldn't duplicate after I was nearly squeeling with glee, but that was something I physically could not do with how my mouth was shaped pre-surgery. That makes me happy!

KyokoCake said...

I had to look up meta lol but awesome about the rolled r's and about your trip!!

Elizabeth said...

I should have started it with "Mi GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAL", as that is obviously now part of the spanish vocab.

Also, I don't want to gain back any weight lost with the surgery.

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