Thursday, June 24, 2010

You're Awesome - Step 6

All right, I was more sore yesterday than I thought - in fact I am still sore this morning, despite stretching and other things.  I'm actually really nervous about the walk today and hope that we're either taking an easier route or that I magically have already improved.  I definitely don't want to hold anyone else back, which I kinda felt like I was doing last time!

Here is how I did yesterday:
Burned 2631 calories
Consumed 1479 calories
Deficit of 1152 calories

Not bad not bad!  I'm getting better at eating (hopefully I will continue to be more and more healthy) and I will just keep growing into this weight loss thing.  Now I'm in a good routine, eating well and exercising and all I can do is just wait for the pounds to fall off!  Hope it keeps up at least around the pace it's been at, because I can be very impatient.

So we're coming to and end with my attempt to convince you all how awesome you are.  I know with some people it will click and with some it won't but you guys really are all fabulous and I was just saying last night that I really feel helpless seeing fabulous people down on themselves.  And for those of you who have not been enjoying my endeavors I'll assure you that this is it and then we can go back to hearing about the other randomness that goes on in my day to day life!

Improving your life...
I almost wanted to end this by just saying, "If you keep trying to improve your life, there's nothing better you could be doing, so you must be incredibly awesome."

Which is true but just like if I had told you in the beginning to be happy with yourself and just consider yourself perfect - it's not that simple for most people.  Improving your life is really important.  It's difficult and scary to change, there is no doubt.  The problems you have now might be bad but they're just so familiar.  The problems that could arise when you start moving forward are scary and unclear.  And there will always be problems, but you will always be able to overcome them.  How could you not?  You are as close to perfect as it gets.

Improving your life to me means both improving yourself and changing your surroundings.  You want to be your best self, that's true but you also want to surround yourself with good people and effectively diminish the role of or cut out the bad things in your life.  It's simple-sounding but so difficult to do.  Every single day I work at being a little bit nicer, burning a few more calories, and not giving so much energy to the people in my life that make me unhappy.  Those are just a couple of the things I am working on right now, and they're little but difficult, and completely worth it.

I wanted to tell you though that even if you don't buy it, even if you don't think you're perfect, you deserve a perfect life.  The reason I strive to improve my life is because I want it to fit how great I am and how great the people around me are.  I want Husbandcake and I to have the perfect life, because I think he is absolutely perfect, faults and all and the better my life is the more it will add to his and ours together.  And once you realize how great you are it will hit you.  Someone THAT awesome does not need to be sitting around thinking that a boyfriend is going to solve all their problems.  Someone THAT close to perfect does not need more money or less weight to live a great life.  Live it now! 

I've been struggling with something that is heavy on my mind today, a friend of mine who is probably so sick of hearing about this and starting to be seriously annoyed with me, is really concerned about covering up a certain body part.  It's not an uncommon issue, whether it be our legs, arms, feet, whatever - a lot of people have that one thing they cannot wrap their brains around wearing something that shows it off.  For me, I look in the mirror, I mean I have a big dot on my nose, and it's all I see.

A caricature from the wedding on Saturday...he was nice enough to diminish it but it's still where my eye goes first!

I'm kind of lucky though, in that there was never any chance of me covering it.  I could live in a place where women are completely covered except for their eyes and you'd still be able to see it!  So I had to learn really early on, you just have to own the way you look - and be happy enough with it to go out and live your life.  But back to my friend, it's summer and we live in California, and as you can imagine wanting to cover up anything is going to be SO hot.  I know in her own time she will be better but it actually hurts inside knowing that someone who is completely gorgeous (and she won't believe that, but she really, truly is) could be so concerned about something that is not true (what she wants to cover up is not even close to being oversized or imperfect).  I know it doesn't mean much coming from someone who wanders around fat as I am in a short strapless dress, which is what I was wearing yesterday but I would feel so great in clothes if I looked like her.

Anyway, to everyone reading this especially that friend - I want your life to improve to meet up with how AMAZING I think you are.  Seeing you not confident or down on yourself really hurts me because when I look at any of you, read your blogs, hang out with you, I don't at all understand when you don't see what I see.  You're all amazing people and you are worth being healthy at any size, confident in every aspect of your life and happy.  Really, truly happy.

All right my fabulous friends, that just got really, really sappy and I'm going to walk away from it but before I do I just hope that you all feel great about yourselves and your lives and the paths that you are all on.  We struggle, we fall and we veer away from where we want to be but at the end of the day you are all incredible people and I hope you are so happy today with yourselves.  Have an awesome day :)


Erin said...

It's really not fair to make people cry this early in the morning...thank you. And, I love your dot, and we've talked about it before, and it makes you memorable, and it's cute. Didn't our Cindy Crawford conversation cover this? :)

Ice Queen said...

I really enjoyed this post. :D I am not quite there, in the "I am awesome!" department, but I am working on it. I am slowly learning to turn my negative and hateful self talk to something more positive and self affirming. I am learning not to scowl at myself in the mirror and I am trying to remember my finer points. It takes time. But I appreciate the lovely things you write to help me on that path. :D

KyokoCake said...

@Erin - I really do mean every word, and trust me coming from someone who is short and stumpy (but still REALLY awesome) you look great!!!! Also yeah, the Cindy Crawford conversation actually reminded me of when I was a kid my mom pointed it out to me once and I was like, oh good thing the rest of me looks like her-ohhhh wait...nope. lol!

@ice queen - I hope you do get here, and soon. You have to be awesome to fit into old/new tops, to bounce RIGHT back after the weigh in that had you unhappy - to take those longer walks!! I see it for you ;) you're right on your path and you're awesome and you'll see it!!

Spaghetti Cat said...

Kyoko, I love your blog- it is just so uplifting, it reminds me of who I used to be and who I want to be.. Thanks for being such an epic inspiration. I wish i had read this earlier in the day.. <3

Natalia said...

Your posts make me smile! :)

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