Monday, June 7, 2010

You're Gorgeous!

So I already wrote yesterday how bad I was - I was shocked that it really wasn't so bad!!!

Here is how I did yesterday:
Burned 2228 calories
Consumed 1249 calories
Deficit of 979 calories

Not bad right?? But almost 2/3 of that was breakfast - yikes! I had fried egg sliders. With ground beef. Also had a neverending mimosa, which I had to guess at how much I drank because the waitress would not let my glass get even half empty.

I have been thinking about this comment from Friday's blog that stayed with me and I really wanted to talk about it because I actually find it REALLY important. Here is the comment:
Anonymous said...I have been reading some of your comments on your blog since you started. I am impressed with your resolve, however I have a question: You have stated in one blog entry that you 'dress cuter' than most girls you know (i'm paraphrasing). My question is: How is that possible when you are severely, obesely, overweight?

Let me start out by saying, what I meant when I said I dress cuter than most people I know, I meant my clothes and not how I look in them. I wear dresses and skirts, and my style has gone well past feminine into outright girly. Now I love that, and Husbandcake does too, and we both think that I wear the cutest things. Hence the comment - and it's not meant to insult any of my friends because I 100% believe that they think I'm a complete nut to be dressing like this all the time, and I'd guess most of them think their clothes are the cutest.

But when I read the comment what I heard was "how can someone be cute and fat at the same time?" I know, that's a really defensive way to read it but my gut reaction was that someone was mildly insulting me. I'm not insulted though, because anyone who can see the way my husband looks at me, would understand how I can feel beautiful. In a dress, in sweats, makeup, total mess, whatever. Every time he looks at me I know there is someone who thinks I look better than anyone else in the world.

That guy! He thinks I'm pretty! <3

I get that it doesn't work for everyone. Obviously, because not everyone is married to Husbandcake. But the idea that fat people can't be attractive - is complete crap. I accept though that things like this are a big deal, and I think that there are two main reasons. First, that people are sensitive about their weight. Most overweight people I know are more sensitive about that than any other feature (eye color, hairstyle, clothes). And second, there are just a lot of overweight people out there. So to say that the entire lot of them are unattractive is cutting out a huge group.

My personal belief on it is that it's ok to think that fat people are ugly as long as you recognize that it is an OPINION not a FACT. When I think about what makes someone unattractive to me I immediately think: facial hair. I absolutely have never been attracted to someone with facial hair and when Husbandcake doesn't shave his whole face just looks like it's going to attack and scratch me if I try to kiss him. We can all accept that it's just my opinion though, right? I mean how many girls out there just love a guy with a goatee or with that rugged stubble look? So many!!! So it's not a fact that men with facial hair are ugly, is it? Well in the same way - it's definitely not a fact that fat people are ugly. YOU might not be attracted to them, and you might feel that nobody else is either - but a lot of people are.

And just to clarify I'm not talking about beautiful on the inside - I'm saying that there are people out there who find us beautiful on the outside. And I get that they don't appreciate it when other people think it's a fact that they can't be considered beautiful, hot, sexy, cute, all those things. I hope that overweight people realize that they are prettier than they give themselves credit for, just as pretty as any thin person walking around!!

All right - I'm stepping off my soapbox for my weekly weigh in!
Starting weight: 216
Current weight: 214.5
Goal weight: 120
Weekly goal: I want to choose and buy a bike this week, I'm already tired of walking! Also I want to drink at least 40 oz of water every day this week.

A pound and a half down!! Not bad :) I'm actually really happy with my progress especially after feeling like I ate so poorly this weekend. I woke up this morning feeling a bit sore throaty, it already seems better but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get sick - being out of commission just really interrupts my exercise and I don't want to lose this momentum!!


Chibi said...

Hear, hear! *standing ovation*

And congrats on the loss! :)

Spaghetti Cat said...

Totally agree. Actually I happen to be one of those people who prefer chubby guys over muscular or thin. When people post pictures of guys form magazines or online Im like oh yeah....

Call me if you want to eat some cheeseburgers :) Obviously not really I have an amazing husband, but to me like you its a personal preference. I like guys who look like teddy bears and don't look like 10 year old girls or like parts of their body are exploding out after trying to be strapped in.

Its not that I can't appreciate different looks on different people, just what is physically attractive to me is different if it makes sense?

Kelli L. said...

You are too nice. Whoever left that comment was most likely not trying to engage in a productive discussion, but you turned it into one, which is awesome. I'm much more petty than you are, so let me take a moment from our weight watching day to point out that that commenter was just being a hater, one with really poor grammar, at that (news flash 'obesely' is not an adjective or an adverb, nor is it even a word). And posting anonymously? This clearly demonstrates that your intentions are not innocent.

Good for you, K, for not letting dumb comments like that break your stride and for turning them into something positive. Yes, what is attractive is purely subjective. It takes a bigger brain to see beyond the one dimensional mold of 'beautiful' society has constructed.

karen said...

You are amazingly awesome ... and you and your husbandcakes are SO adorable!!! (Even though he doesn't have facial hair ... my Tom's bald with a kickass gotee deal going on. I likey! LOL)

I am so impressed with how you dealt with that comment. I felt myself tense all up when I was reading it. I doubt I ever would have handled it with this much eloquence and pure awesomeness.

Katie J said...

Nice loss Kyokocake!

May I suggest that you change your settings to No anonymous comments. I never had them on and seem to do just fine. I have seen some HARSH things written behind anonymous so I am not even going to give them that option know what I mean?

xox Have a good day!

Laura said...

Love your blog! And I agree, it is offensive of a person to implicate that you can't be both cute and fat. Ugh, some people are so narrow-minded! I love your response though!

BTW, thanks for your comment on my blog! It's great to get the support!

Anonymous said...

that is a beautiful picture of the 2 of you! as others have said, you are beautiful, and you absolutely can be beautiful and fat, its all about self perception and confidence, and that translates inner beauty into anyone who believes in themself

KyokoCake said...

Thank you guys SO MUCH for the support!!! All that was so awesome to read and really made me so happy!!

@Spaghetti Cat- It completely makes sense! Everyone I think can agree that preference in hair color or height is an opinion and they just need to get that preference in weight is only an opinion too :)

@Kelli- I did think for a second that I wanted to respond "I don't think 'obesely' is a word..." but then I thought, ok here is another opportunity to show someone who doesn't get me, why I am so overly happy with myself. Haha!

@Katie J- I was thinking about it and still am. I left it open to anonymous comments mostly for a few people I know personally who wanted to be able to leave I'm still deciding...and hopefully people like that are few and far between!!!

Jackie O said...

I knew what you meant! Plus, that anonymous commenter was totally insensitive. You ARE beautiful! :) Way to stay positive.

Once Upon A Dieter said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean about "the look". My husband of 27 years still tells me EVERY DAY how "awesome" it is to be married to me and he looks at me like he's looking at the most beautiful woman in the cosmos. It's not something one can describe, but it's something you know when you see it, you FEEL it. You feel all warm and totally accepted, and trust me, I say to THAT commenter, a very obese woman (me) can be very beautiful in the eyes of people who love or like them. :) Even being fat as a barn, I've gotten looks from men, especially men from countries where being superslim is not the only beauty standard. :)

BTW, your husband is not alone. I think you are REALLy cute. Your smile is adorable. And, frankly, your hubby is cute, too.

But mine is cuter. heheheheheh

KyokoCake said...

I'm so happy to hear that someone GETS it!!! I feel like people always think I'm just bragging but I think everyone should feel as loved and awesome as I do :) it makes me really, really happy to hear you feel that way too!!

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