I am having a really odd morning. It's definitely not good...but not really bad either. I feel like the best word to describe my morning is "meh" - nothing else really captures the weird limbo I'm in!
Here is how I did yesterday:
Burned 2639 calories
Consumed 1526 calories
Deficit of 1113 calories
I feel okay about yesterday. Not really good or bad. I ate fairly well, got in some good exercise in the morning but for the most part I felt like I do today. I had a good day, but also was out in the heat and went a little crazy (I was drinking so much water but still feeling a little woozy sitting in direct sunlight while we watched a women's soccer game).
Then I had these weird dreams last night that involved various groups of people not liking me. My extended family, my coworkers, it was just really odd. Weird dreams, especially bad dreams that aren't nightmares, always affect me in this really strange way. I just spend all day contemplating what the heck it could mean to dream that everyone hates me!
I also feel oddly about this week's weigh in:
Last week's weight: 212.4
Current weight: 212.2
Weekly goal: I did slightly better on last week's goal of eating regular meals. This week my goal is to work out (not including lunchtime walks) every weeknight - hopefully with 2 runs, 2 bike rides and a walk.
Let's all be honest for a second - we always tell each other that a 0.2 pound loss is STILL a loss and we should still be really happy. But it's hard to get excited about a small loss. The thing is...the dress I am wearing today fits a little oddly...something that maybe not everyone would notice but to me I definitely do. So I can't at all feel disappointed with a small loss when my clothes are getting a teensy bit bigger!! I know that with the walking I'm doing I'm toning a bit and that can lead to less of a loss, which is why I set my weekly goal to keep working out!! No starving myself and letting my body attack the muscle as well as fat.
Also on the side of disappointment is the fact that I'm realizing that I am not running a short sprint in terms of weight loss. It's past even a marathon and closer to running one of those super marathons, the 100 mile ones. I cannot, cannot, cannot worry about losing weight fast. The reason this is disappointing is that I love things like the motivation that comes with the Biggest Winner competition at work - but I have by far the most pounds to lose to even take off one percent of my weight. But even if I come in dead last in the competition I have to keep telling myself, all that matters is my END RESULT, all that matters is that I'm healthy, that I give the finger to diabetes and heart problems and all those things that run rampant through my family. That I'm happy, Husbandcake is happy, all those things.
SO, even though all those thoughts are going through my head this morning, I am able to give myself a little pat on the back, a loss is a loss and I was bound to lose a little less weight as I stop undereating and start making sure I have a healthy diet before I had any lasting side effects.
Aww, I want to end talking about something slightly more happy than all that. I'm planning a super healthy 4th of July diet - not even 100% sure what my plans are at this point but I am not going to eat bad stuff or drink too much (although I have been contemplating testing out the skinny girl margarita!!). I'm really excited about it, and really excited about how much my mood has picked up just from writing this :)